Saturday Night Date

So, last night I went out on a date with Alison. I figured why not give it a shot, afterall who knows, right? Dinner, a movie, a nice cafe afterwards. Sounded good to me.

I arrived to pick her up on time....red rose and chocolates in hand (yes I know very cliche) I knock on the door. She answers, and she looked great. She took the rose and chocolates and gave me a little peck on the cheek. I'm thinking, pretty good so far. But that was it.

Dinner was awkward to say the least. Moments of silence that were just awkward, and uncomfortable, and I hate silence. The movie was terrible, and coffee afterwards wasn't really any less awkward than dinner. She is a nice girl, but we just have very little common, and there was nothing there *sigh*. Oh well.


I find myself more and more lately, feeling lonely. It's not a loneliness for human contact, or friends, or family, because all of that is good. It's a loneliness for lack of something more. I've never really been someone who needed to be in a relationship, and the times I've been single have never really bothered me much before, but I find it different now. People change I guess. I don't know if part of it's that I'm starting to get a little bored with how life is at the moment, and I want more to it. But I know I'm lonely for something more, and it sucks. It really fucking sucks.

I want someone to share things with that I can't share with anyone else. Someone to have a closeness with. A friend. Someone to share a laugh with, to have fun with. Someone who interests me and intrigues me. Someone to dance with in the rain, to hold hands with in the sun. To cuddle with under the blankets when it's cold. Someone who accepts me exactly as I am and loves me for being that way. Someone who doesn't care what people think about them. Someone to fill with fire and passion. Someone who will ride rollercoasters with me at the amusement park and maybe even think about going skydiving with me. Someone to romance, to make them feel like they are the most special person in the whole world, and to do it for no other reason than loving them and caring about them.......and there is so much more to it, but I won't bore you all with anymore..........for now at least.