Disorders
The title says it all. This post is not meant to provide any excuses for how I am or how I have acted over time, because I take full responsibility for any and all of my actions, and I'm sorry for those that have hurt people. It's for those people who I have hurt with my behaviour, both friends and family, who deserve to know some things. I've ruined relationships and friendships, the latest being with someone I care a great deal about. I hope the people who deserve to know do read this.
The current therapist is the third one I've had. The first two were quite some time ago and they weren't for very long, mostly because I didn't like what they had to say and didn't want to listen. I was previously diagnosed with bipolar (if your interested just google it)
I will get to now.
I've been diagnosed as having pure obsessional OCD.
Pure obsessional OCD features no outward manifestations. I will have a persistent undesireable thought or impulse which causes extreme stress. It's not simply an excessive worry, they can't be ignored or suppressed. You know that it's just a product of your own mind more often than not but it doesn't matter. You think about it until you neutralize it with some thought or otherwise. It can make me think about things that I don't want to think about and it's completely out of my control. Quite often the way of neutralizing the thought just creates more problems. I can be severely depressed. I will question those people around me and my relationships with them. I can't relax, I can't just enjoy things that I should. I get easily frustrated. I have personality traits which are common to people with Pure O and an obsessive personality. I'm impulsive (won't go into some of the things I've done that I'm not proud of because it's a long list), emotional, indecisive, and worst of all a perfectionist. Perfectionism? what can be wrong with that? it's not just the need to have a piece of work done perfectly, it's the NEED to have everything feel right. Your work right. Your relationships right. EVERYTHING right. How often does everything feel right?
I'm now working towards controling and improving it.
There is more that I'll add when I'm not quite so tired.
Oh, and anyone who may read this or posts that may follow and has any questions, feel free to ask. I'll try and answer them.
The current therapist is the third one I've had. The first two were quite some time ago and they weren't for very long, mostly because I didn't like what they had to say and didn't want to listen. I was previously diagnosed with bipolar (if your interested just google it)
I will get to now.
I've been diagnosed as having pure obsessional OCD.
Pure obsessional OCD features no outward manifestations. I will have a persistent undesireable thought or impulse which causes extreme stress. It's not simply an excessive worry, they can't be ignored or suppressed. You know that it's just a product of your own mind more often than not but it doesn't matter. You think about it until you neutralize it with some thought or otherwise. It can make me think about things that I don't want to think about and it's completely out of my control. Quite often the way of neutralizing the thought just creates more problems. I can be severely depressed. I will question those people around me and my relationships with them. I can't relax, I can't just enjoy things that I should. I get easily frustrated. I have personality traits which are common to people with Pure O and an obsessive personality. I'm impulsive (won't go into some of the things I've done that I'm not proud of because it's a long list), emotional, indecisive, and worst of all a perfectionist. Perfectionism? what can be wrong with that? it's not just the need to have a piece of work done perfectly, it's the NEED to have everything feel right. Your work right. Your relationships right. EVERYTHING right. How often does everything feel right?
I'm now working towards controling and improving it.
There is more that I'll add when I'm not quite so tired.
Oh, and anyone who may read this or posts that may follow and has any questions, feel free to ask. I'll try and answer them.
posted by SatansFavourite at 3:55 AM
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